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Mitch, being an odd fellow, wished he'd have joined the Odd Fellows and opted for a fez.

After this, McConnell was sued for inappropriate touching and wearing live fur.

Rocky Raccoon, checked into his room, but sure did not find Gideon's bible!

--And that was all that remained of poor Gladys.

Forget what the man was holding--Smedley was stunned by the hanger growing out of the man's head!

Every time Smythe was shocked he left a fire in his wake--and was out a cigar.

"War-riors! Come out to ea-eat!"--(Deleted scene of the Cooks gang from "The Warriors."

Chez Guevara's critics--the ones that lived--always gave stellar reviews.

With "wild game" on the menu, Chef got his weekly workout on the job.

Bill couldn't decide which was worse: The towel falling or John offering a helping hand.

Pip was great at the backstroke. Now, if he could only learn to do it in water.

John stopped going for a steam after he saw that The Full Monty was recreated during every visit.

Very good your Bloatedness! Now, dip the tip in ink and watch the words miraculously appear!

The bird dictates to the birdbrain....

Paw? Is that you?!

Seeing the fat man laugh was fun enough, but that he laughed sans sarif and in color just added to the fun.

Before hawking chicken the Colonel hawked gewgaws & whatnots, but couldn't keep a straight face in the process.

Jean prayed that the sweaty, lech-y mess in front of her would soon disappear.

"An then after I knit one, I pearled two! Have we been talkin' two hours already? So, where was I? Oh, so I knit one.."

"How to Murder Your Husband" (book title) --Oh! Sorry, darling! I didn't mean to startle you.

Billy, your dressing up as a woman to try to attract me is really a drag.

Another gynecological exam, Mrs. Robinson? You know I'm only pre-med, right?

You've got my pants and I've got your jacket again. Let the hilarity ensue!

Just us two again at singles night, huh? Nice mask!

Has anyone ever told you you have a really big head?

No!!! Door #3, Door#3 or I'll shoot!!! (Let's Make a Deal goes gansta!)

No, that's not a pistol in my pocket it's in my hands! And I am happy to see you!

I can't quite put my finger on it but it looks like this guy can.

Warning! When you see the little fanged dude, it's time to put down your drink and step away from the board.

Lee liked handing out candy for the dentist, as he and Ms. Rech developed the same toothless grin!

L'il Benny distracted Mrs. Gooch, while his partner in crime looted the joint.

Billy couldn't afford a hat for his magic tricks so he used an old lunch bag.

One man's trash is another man's....trash to pick up.

Trash attracts trash. We should be attracting any other associates of the Boston bombers any minute now....

Bluie pulls off the fascinator look in a way UK princess Beatrice just never could.

Misty gets ready for a game of duck and cover. Bluie's already halfway there.

Huey explained he couldn't run as, due to a recession gene, he was pidgeon toed.

Ma Nelson is pleased to see her kids showing early signs of delinquency.

The moment when young Dan Steinhilber became an artist!

With no end to the kid's sermon in sight, self-baptism is their only escape!

Billy breaks into the Saturday Night Fever dance, but the 'hoods fear a wet willy is on the way.

Huck scares the robbers off when he asks the cloud to pull his finger!

Sometimes Earl thought he'd rather die than pull Greta's finger.

"Heel!" Said it all.

Moneybags was having intense regrets about buying Mrs. Moneybags those spiked shoes.

She might be flying to her demise, but thanks to Aquanet and no-tear Maybelline, she'd be goin' in style!

Goodbye, Barbie! Don't let the road hit your unusually tiny waist and big head on the way out!

Now that bungee juumping and ski diving were checked off her bucket list, Lisa now had truck diving to check off.

For Tom being a metalhead was not enough. Like so much, he took the concept a little too far.

It was a gay evening for all, especially for the wives in the other room who eagerly discussed annulments.

With this new head gear doubling as chalices, the church was able to keep down expenses for the year.

Floyd embarrassed the other hoods, but he was an unrelenting Bieber belieber and when a Beeb tune came on he was mush.

"For the love o' Pete, please don't say 'nucular' or 'bring it on' again! PLEASE" (At the W Library in Dallas).

At Palin press conferences, not only facts take a hit, but pee breaks, too.

School's- Out- for- -the =Summer!

Archie creates his own disco inferno--(in the sequel, he's kicked out of school and peddling bootleg DVDs on the street)

When good comic characters become radicalized.

No, you look great, really! Love the scales! (Doesn't he look like a bump on a log, thought the tortoise.)

Terrapins versus Gators! Game on!

Yeah, that's right, salivate all ya want. By the time I reach you you'll have died of starvation, thought the tortoise

Lance's superhero apprenticeship fell short when he swooped in for the rescue prematurely.

And so then I told him, 'No way!', an' he says..." Sir Rob was having second thoughts about rescuing Lady Tawksalot.

Hey, thanks for the rescue and everything. Do you think you can swing by the bank to pick up my boyfriend?

It was back to crazy Mary or drowning at sea. The men were thinking....

"No, it's out further than that! Keep looking!" Mary really did try to wash those men right out of her hair.

Hey Tom! If you make it to shore will you pick me up some bread at the store? (Scene from "The Hungry Sociopath").

Finally the coats agreed their subject in white face, bowtie and tails was not mad: He was an entertainer!

They employed the worst torture they could think of to get Mr. Blackwell to talk: Wearing white after labor day.

April fools.

Bob and Bud wait it out a few hours and then concede that it is not, in fact, raining men.

Told by the NRA (who has it on good faith from chicken little)that the sky would fall, two senators keep a lookout.

"Beam me up, Scotty! Heh Heh. ut, seriously...once the 'ship gets here it's only 0.066667 light years to home!"

So's I said "Take my wife, please" and when he said he had a frog in his throat all I could think was Jee-zus!

Phflippt resorted to a bit o' soft shoe and dance now that sea monster benes took a hit.

"Yes, blue is my favorite color, too!, but can we have this discush when I'm not at the controls trying to land a plane?

They both gazed longingly at each other with the same thought: "Take off that ridiculous hat!"

When he was Superman, he flew fine, but as Kent he was easily distracted.

Cal reveals the secret to his numbers game: It's all in the eyebrows.

The grifter's bill is never fair.

The way to deal with con men is to squirt some grapefruit in one eye--and then the other!

When someone appears that clean cut, be suspish. Be verrry suspish!

Betty dodged a bullet when Archie finally chose Veronica (after 67 yrs according to NPR!)

When he heard "Archie-kins" one time too many, it was time to sub the Betty head.

Fred was always a gent, so when it came time for lock-up he offered his wife up first.

Young Rodney D trying his "Take my wife, please!" routine with the local law.

Officer, we've told you already. There is no 7-11 in this town and we DON'T sell donuts!

When Dad gave Cal a little baseball bat he didn't expect the kid to use it to stir batter!

Boy, was mom going to get a surprise on her birthday!

Mud pies were sooo declasse to Billy, the child gourmand.

Little Vic learns early how to get his parents to suggest going out for dinner.

She was full-time Maori, part time comic strip actress.

Another cat and dog fight, huh?

Well, Doc? Does she have the (cue the electric guitars) "Cat Scratch Fever" duh, duh, duh Duh..?

It was like plugging up a dam, and the only way he could keep himself from bursting.

The king suffered from bulimia and exhibitionism. It made for an uncomfortable scene at the wedding.

King Fluke says I do to his true love: Frosting.

when things were tough, Baj went to his happy place...

Pierre thinks back to childhood pal, Huey who, because of inter-species prejudice, was odd one out of the oddfellows.

Word had gotten out that Jan was running with a GANG when really she was RUNNING with a gang. Sad.

Art student vandals: painting abstract oils one piece of public property at at time.

Greg hoped she'd get tired of admiring his mechanical skills long enough for him to call AAA.

She seemed like such a nice girl to Bill, until she decided to practice the art of pickpocketing on him.

While Adam toyed with his latest gadget, Eve made sure the apple was spit-shined!

Tom thought that Gil needed a good goosing. Gil just cried "foul!"

Things were getting serious between Pat's shadow puppet goose and the real one.

Next on Sea Creature Makeover with host Ura Fungai: Eyebrow waxing and shaping.

Dick Cheney's early ancestor terrorizing an innocent sea creature.

The savage predator makes anemone of everyone.

Forgotten in the annals of super heroes is Odorwoman, who employed underarm reek to repel evil doers.

PTA meetings were never the same since Mrs. Melin joined the board.

There was no question now; John really was a bore.

When Jean said "Hold me!," Bert thought she had something else in mind.

The super wealthy have people to support them for impulsive midday snoozes.

"This is the bread of affliction?!!"

Kirk was all ready to counterattack when he noticed Nigel's mini skirt.

There is no escaping cloud riders--except by hitching a ride with the moon.

Tir practiced a look of surprise for his upcoming bday party at the most inopportune time.

L'il Billy hypnotized himself. Sally's plot to be an only child was on its way...

The kids would sneak out of their toyless home to play with the scrap piece of rope they called Loopy.

Silly Billy was always threatening to off himself, but he could never grasp the concept of how a noose works.

Before unmanned combat airborne vehicle drones, there was Marty the Drone, and the Army used him to great success.

Benny left an astounding number of hara kiri victims in his wake.

Fortunately Yin was spared the lout's prattle, as she had mastered the art of sleeping while standing up.

Finally they were leaving! Now Diane was able to enter a workforce previously restricted to men!

After the war, Max and co. found steady work with their personalized alarm/reveille service.

Poor, dear, John. No sooner had he bid adieu to his wife than she started writing him a letter....

Tom was known for embellishing and in later years he'd claim to have been shot during war time.

When Bruce saw a sign for "shots" he prepared for a fun evening, but was SORELY disappointed.

Tom thought he'd be engaged in conflict in the service but he never figured he'd be engaged in germ warfare.

The economy being what it was, the itinerant ghosts took haunting gigs as they came.

Seriously, everyone else Kip knew was haunted by ONE ghost, but Nooo, he had to be haunted by two!

Bud knew he was no fashionista but he was appalled that his clients wore white after labor day.

No one could accuse Sally of having a dry sense of humor.

Callie's camera was very candid.

Most people are unaware, but before Steinem and Friedan, there was Jones and the Women's Lib Guerrilla Front.

Maeve was soon to discover that a feral child came with her new marriage.

In between time not passing a decent budget Congressmen liked to dress up and act out their favorite plays.

Marge re-thought her membership in the CAG (Cartoon Actors Guild)once Krazy Kat took over and things got a bit blue.

Zara waited for her husband to grow up and leave the Martian reenactment group but it would be light years away.

The guys were decked out to test the currents for their chick magnetism.

Everything was fine until someone yelled, "Put the kettle on!" and then all hell broke loose.

When Grumpy came back with the giant's big foot in tow, the guys wazn't laughin' so hard anymore, waz they?

This was the last time Grumpy ever pledged a fraternal society!

After this, the "It Gets Better Project" took Grumpy on as their cartoon outreach spokesdwarf.

Velveteen Nerve!

He feels his pain. Literally.

When Sean wasn't pushing buttons he was touching a nerve. When it got inappropriate, he was promptly reported.

Kent wondered what the suit was doing in the Iyengar yoga class.

Greg always dolled up a bit too much for construction jobs, and was left wondering about the rude stares.

Sure Lars had a gold brick worth a trillion dollars; still, DAMN that other man with his full head of hair!

Mistaking Maeve's hat for a plunger was not best foot forward by Peeve.

With his stars & her precipitation they were like the night sky. Now all they needed was a bit of moon.

It was a good thing that Tom was driving, 'cause Meg always lost her head in these situations.

Together, in a passionate embrace, the peers had but one unifying, unspoken thought: "Say it, don't spray it!"

Fire over England or fire in his loins? Sir Reg became confused.

For his infidelity, the queen made Sir Tom and his lover serve as cake toppers for their wedding--before the beheading.

At every birthday the gang took a break from villainy for a little pin the tail on the donkey.

The snake charmer? Not so much charmer as snake, it turns out.

It wasn't so much the throwing hand as the other one and where it was headed that got Raz & Dep to run like hell.

When dinner with Superman ended with "Gotta fly!" he meant business.

Dougie's spring shoes came in handy when it came time to pay the bill.

As the bean dish took its toll on Sims, Smythe deployed his menu as a shield.

Her spurning would soon motivate Fang to found Over-Sweaters Not (unfortunately) Anonymous.

Since Leon couldn't get the tear ducts to drip on cue, he layered up and let the sweat do the crying for him.

Too much reckless grooming, meant it was raining Brill Cream for Wang.

--George learned his lesson after this, and never said "nucular" again.

Exercise boot camp was getting seriously brutal.

Ted was enraged as it was, but when Mutt asked him "How's it hangin'?" that was the last straw.

Bub knew that if l'il Pea didn't have stained teeth by the time he turned 1, he'd be an outcast amongst his peers.

To Earl it was the equivalent of mother's milk--to the law it was the equivalent of three years in jail.

Celebrity Mobster Bake-Off enters the final round. The fans are on edge.

Even mobsters break for the Harlem Shake.

Ya gets what ya pay for with intergalactic dating sites.

Jeb's love affair with heavy metal was about to get serious.

The last shot of Hobo Pete before the accident. Thereafter, he was known as one-armed Jack.

Somehow, when Paw and Jr. hitched a ride while walking on the rails, the train always stopped.

Uncle Sam promises Jr. that someday the U.S. debt and deficit will all be his!

Answer the Riddle, Answer the Riddle!!!! (Never mess with a sphinx.)

This was the moment Dad realized it was time to get Junior off of steroids.

When editing songwriters the editor must really know how to conduct himself.

Fred had to play editor and writer since the recent staff cutbacks, and he was pretty hard on himself.

The editor starts to hatch a plan for deleting/crossing out this blowhard.

Witless Willy heard his friend wanted a "hole in one" and came to help out.

Moneybags was told to bring an iron for the shot, but thought any metal apparatus would do.

Larry's "wide stance" was perfectly legitimate--on the golf course!

The Suits Ballet never made it big, what with the former staffers throwing eggs at every performance.

So, Gregor Samsa woke up an insect and these guys woke up to hands for feet. Some mornings are just like that.

When word spread that Legs McGee was comin' for revenge, the gang took precautions.

The officer insisted Al show him how to make paper airplanes.

Cops on the take (police corruption writ [but not written!] large)!

This cop not only fired blanks, he doled them out, too.

Talk about fast food!

The lengths some waiters will go to for a tip! And the lengths diners will go to avoid payin'!

A real moveable feast!

Flashback: The genesis of Disco Inferno (Burn baby Burn!)

Peg smiled with the blowhard waiting for the pain meds to dull all senses.

Feds receive the news: Another snow day!

Glenn liked to watusi AND juggle at the same time.

Take THAT, you vase!

Bowling for Bonuses! The latest in corporate fundraisers.

Croc criathalon: After fencing, there was mauling and gnawing.

Well, he couldn't afford new dentures and he had to take care o' business, so...

Fang couldn't help but think he lost some of his fearsome cool with the babushka around his head.

Someone ate the charms out of the Lucky Charms box. It's something we just have to face, man!

We figured you handled the news about the Easter Bunny so well, you were ready for the "Santa" talk. We're sorry.

It's true, Kip. Tonight is the Season 3 finale of Downton. Chin up, old fellow. Chin up!

When Tom read that she was looking for tired, wretched refuse, he signed right up!

Between the giant sun and liberties flame, the great unwashed guy would be cinder by sundown.

Phil saw that she had a light, but where was he going to get a smoke?

I wonder if I can borrow her robe?

It's "Bring it on! George," my husband. He's off to ruin the economy, so you're safe. For now.

"I know! He's the biggest gun proponent and I married him. Here he is now!"

It's the Justice of the Peace here to marry us, Joe! It is Joe, right?

Ken never got over his Peter Pan phase.

Forget the ball! Ted just worried that his ankles looked fat.

He missed the ball, but his pirouette was outstanding!

Whadda you mean you wanted a blonde?!

Hey, it's one of those big hands from yesterday!

Here's good reason to quit while you're a head.

THESE weren't supposed to grow (when product placement gets Misplaced!).

It wasn't so much troubling that their hands were growing as that their heads were shrinking!

THESE weren't supposed to go (when product placement is misplaced).

Max and Phil did a "It was this big!" gesture one time too many.

Wasp woman? I'm non-denominational, atheist-leaning man. Pleased to meet ya!

This would SO look better on me. Have you seen my waist?!

If I could give you the last fry back I would! Dessert?

Is that a gun in your hand or are you just not happy to see me?

Yes, I AM stylin' far more than you, but can't we talk this over?!!!

Well, Raj passed the doobie on the left-hand side but it was always wrong way up.

Tom had a strange hankering for smoked curry.

Sometimes the cigarette holder with cig. functioned as a big middle finger.

...And I thought waterboarding was bad!

When Rick told the guys he was taking "Daisy" out for a spin and then she'd be staying the night, they just assumed...

Fortunately he doesn't have far to go. He teleworks.

Now I see why he's always complaining about spinning his wheels.

He over-doped trying out for Lance's team.

Some Citronella candles work a little TOO well.

Some people see the light; Sven smelled it.

Don't move; I think I can see Russia from here.

Now I'm reminded why I prefer being in the dark.

Yes, those two are around my neck. Yes, they are filled with air. Oh, air head! Yeah. I get it! (Huh?)

They're thought balloons, but I haven't had any ideas yet. Thoughts?

Whoo hoo! Just turned 33. Cake and ice cream next! What do you mean I'm a "mama's boy"? (COMIN' MA!!!!)

This is what it looks like when someone with "Up with People" says they're going to hang themselves.

First his wife told him he was a bad catch and now this guy. Of course Murph cried.

Rich Uncle Pennybags (the Monopoly Banker) takes to minin' and lookin' for gold after losing $$$ in the '08 bust.

Max thought he'd nabbed a clownfish. Instead he nabbed a Clown fish. Sometimes spacin' and spellin' makes all the diff.

Modern attempts of a ruff met with ridicule from students and teacher alike.

When this didn't work, James invented "Talk to the hand."

...and so, in a small-town H.S. in anywhere U.S., the concept of the cubicle was born.

Getting Z ass kicked!

THIS is what a really bad headache looks like.

Love Potion #9 takes hold of Ron, as Harry shifts nervously and other classmates flee.

Harry gained more than the freshman 10 during his first teen year at Hogwarts.

Chris Christie's strange brew was Martha's cue to flee.

You know what he used to cook it, don't you? A croc pot.

All the kid and the rat could think was, "There but for the grace o' G-d go I."

Puff attends to the munchies, while little Jackie Paper and friend look on.

Politicians begin electioneering for mid-term elections.

Punch Adams becomes punched Adams when things go awry at the monkery.

Well, Hello Dalai! Honk, Honk!

Fred debates going back and changing into a darker suit. This could get messy.

Prince Harry at another costume party?

Hans catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and sees that he (ick!) bin an arsehole.

Kansas City does a bad job of keeping it confidential with just a robe.

Casual Fridays at Stallone's home.

Don't you hate when you just wake up, haven't had time to get dressed, company is over, and you get a "Pull my finger"?!

When Uncle Billy told him to make like a bird and fly, he did his best. He was such a literal kid.

Mr. Carson gives Thomas what-for in the new graphic version of Downton Abbey.

Back in the day, when Georgie B. showed any signs of ruling, Dickie C. sent him back to his white room.

Suits sans the suits.

What's a little lice between friends?

Don't look now, but Magnum is in the building.

What's a little lice between friend?

Hey, look! Wall Street finally got a mascot!

Red, I get that you're promoting your tale, and all, but do you have to bring the wolf with you everywhere?

Yes, you look great. Maybe a step or two back. That's it...

Maria, Arnold has taken' leering to a whole, new level.

More yellow hair dye AND paint! It would be a great, sunny day in the Twotone household.

Henry smiled before pulling the chair from under Phil. Later in class he learned the word sociopath & had a revelation.

Henry was all for Bill's coming out of the closet, so long as it didn't mean disturbing his dozen blue jackets.

Even in the midst of a bicycling mishap Bern HAD to make sure his hair was properly spiking.

Soon Bill decided to go from bicyclist to abstract artist.

It was the bone that worried him most...

As far as conductors go, William was top notch, but his failure was remembering to stand IN FRONT OF the musicians.

Betty never let her rivalry with Veronica go!

While Mary sang into the mirror (good voice, not so good brain) Kent took over miking duties.

How the term "The boss is breathing down my neck!" came into being.

When two shy people converse, it looks something like this.

Mike couldn't help but think he'd so much more kick it out of the park in that dress.

Congressional junkets are the next boat over.

I thought you said you were pro-life?!

When the man called Tom a jive turkey, that's when the feathers flew. Turns out the man was chicken. Phew!

Tom started singing The Funky Chicken, having mistaken the piece as a microphone.

Taking the notion of fresh food a little too far, the gun-carver never really took off as a kitchen tool.

Gus and Joe lament the lacking quality in the younger, gen X version of secret agents.

Soon Bill realized that mid-air, mid-flight was NOT the right time to declare his undying love for the cap'n.

When Hal signed up for the "graveyard shift" he had thought that was a figure of speech....

At the annual ghoul bash, Kirk freaks everyone out with his man suit.

Juste an autre tableaux of a corporate exec. and his slave laborers. Off with HIS head!

G))1 and ^J felt a mutual pull, but just couldn't get a handle on it. Both were rusty.

Real metal heads.

You know that split second when you see someone and you just know they're the one? This wasn't one of those moments.

Blitherington realizes he's ordered the gluten free, hypo-allergenic, diet, raw "green" wine.

Yes, Sir, that is a diaper on my arm. We are a multiservice restaurant.

My name is Craig and I'm a Pisces. I like waterskiing and reality TV. I'll be your waiter tonight, Sir.

Jeb didn't know what the hell he was doing, but everytime he got into this "mating" stance, the gals came a-flockin'

Seriously, Eve? Fool me once...Oh, what the hell! Just one bite...

While Lili distracts Norm with food, Marg prepares to take advantage of his subtle invite to "kick me."

Seriously, Eve? I won't fall for THAT again!

Too bad Lord Phlippt doesn't peek below that letter to read the important news that there's a FIRE OVER ENGLAND!

OMG! Too old to be Santa?! Santa learns he's been made redundant and is being replaced by a sr. elf. Ageism sucks!

After getting his hair done, Santa waited for his mani-pedi. Post-Christmas season was his "me" time.

--And Ken and Pete wonder why they can't get dates.

Bob will do anything--anything!--to rid his roomie of those mutton chops.

Things heat up at the supervillian tryouts.

Sometimes it's cute when pets take on the look of their human companions; and sometimes--not so much!

Little did Rob know of Laura's secret past as a delinquent. Oh. Robbb!

Before there were binders to hold them, these women were kept under lock and key. You've (not) come a long way, baby!

"Animal Farm" made Farmer Tripp see the value in equal treatment for ALL. Later, he'd chew the cud with the udders...

With those happenin' pointed shoes, deliberate five-o-clock shadow and pervasive cool, you knew these were Jersey cows.

USDA Grad School expands its continuing education outreach. The herd is udderly mooved.

Tryouts for the Village People circa 1977.

Peter waited to cut in. Someday they hoped to meet real women, but until then, brooms hilda and Jen would have to do.

Yes, honey, natural gas is an alternative to coal, but you really should say excuse me. And no more beans for you!

For the next visit, I'll bring some lighter fluid and marshmallows, okay?

2012 flees as 2013 comes in like a bull.

Everyone knows of Jonah and the Whale, but into obscurity has gone the little known tale of Elvin and the Dinosaur

To view this pic properly, blacklight, spliffs and Stones (or stoner?) music required.

The Little Prince's final adventure was one he didn't reckon on. The boa constrictor was one thing...

Begin your day, awake or comatose, with Florida Orange Juice!

Never let a work event--like a surgery--get in the way of a good cocktail hour.

Anyone else's "Pull my finger" could be ignored, but when this guy said it, you came a-runnin'.

Nobody could dance the Minuet as well as Gulliver's finger.

The Decline of Western Civilization 2013. Coming soon to a couch near you!

Oh, John, you are funny. What a pistol. Literally.

No, sh**, Sher.. uh, Dougie. It's called a "brain." Sherlock has one and uses it in lieu of the pistol.

Sorry, Clay. No pistol will compensate for the puny size of your little friend.

What's with the extra suit slung over Santa's arm? And, heyyyy! Where's Mrs. Claus?

Now that the kids got a first-hand look at Santa, they gave him their special Christmas wish: The return of the martians

Spanky and Alfalfa start hanging out with a rougher gang and become big rascals.

Parents: If your kids look like this, they may suffer from TMJ, buck teeth or just mouth agape in horror syndrome.

When bullies catch a glimpse of themselves in the mirror the results ain't pretty.

In episode two of the kids reality show "Lord of the Flies," things take a turn for the worse.

Lady F's suitors fortify themselves with drink--and more drink--before the big meet in the lab.

When back home in Scotland, Ewan McGregor does some trainspotting with the ole gang.

Thanks to social networking, Oliver finds old pickpocket pals Fagin and Dodger & meets up for a happy hour in the park.

She didn't have the heart to tell the guys she was a man in drag. They'd find out later this eve, anyway.

Mary knew the boys couldn't help it, what with their stunted growth and being raised by wolves, but still...

After dealing with the snarky boys from Cranford, Meg becomes an avid supporter of birth control.

The 'bit let the boys have their fun, But come tea time it would be down the rabbit hole for them all.

Cool, huh? And you should see what I can pull out of my bum!

"Cannot save here" maybe, but CAN save "HARE."

A little mouse and gel this a.m. and at least you'd be going down in style.

No, I'm not a monkey! (The joys of playing charades during a wind storm at sea!)

I admire your stamina, sailor, but this is no time to Hokey Pokey. Put your left leg IN.

Sir PuffnRuff had honed his beard into a lethal weapon and was aimin' to maim.

Without his ruff, Simon relied on Sir Razorbeard to keep him upright.

There may be a fire over England, but Ralph knew the dude standing before him was flaming.

While little Dougie's plane takes off without him, he attempts to hitch a ride with the waitress.

John asks for some salt for his thumb. After sucking on it for so long, it needs a flavor boost.

The major gives a thumbs up to adding the banning of all assault rifles from the menu.

What do you mean they only had brown whips?! I'd say three lashes for you, but I don't have a black whip now, do I?

"Slim," jeez! Buy some new pants already! Your puttin' a style crimp on operations.

I asked for a faux leather matte finish! And Coach! Duh!

It suddenly dawns on Holmes as the good doc loads him up with more and more files: He himself IS Dr. Caligari's cabinet!

Dr. Caligari's desk, typewriter, stool and colleagues all demand equal status to that damned cabinet.

Dr. Caligari orders a scanner and CDs. He has had it with the cabinet.

Slick Billy made a good pitch, but Wally was always hesitant to buy something from an unknown public domain.

Snake oil now comes custom made. Add politician's name and promises on the label. See nothing come true! No money back!

White Out is repurposed as a tooth bleacher AND a face whitener. The label says it all!

It's time to get glasses when you find yourself courting a horse's bum (and you think it's your date, Kate).

Mr. Ed has had just about enough of Wilbur!

This week in Savage Love: "Dear Dan, I have a particularly strange kink..." (and you thought your fetish was odd!)

Criminal Justice grads realize that sometimes justice is criminal.

Raised as a feral bird, Officer Crowpsky was a bear at feeding time.

More reprehensible than Lincoln being busted in this rare photo is the guy on the right with the atrocious 'do.

King Duncalot surrenders to the bull, but waves the wrong flag. Defiant King Shrub says "Bring it on!"

It's never fun when there's a waiting line for the royal throne....

With bulging torsos, 17th cent. coifs, bird legs & red noses, Kings Lott & Jack waited for the chicks to call...& waited

The men thought, if the eyes really are the windows to the soul, they'd start keepin' half an eye closed now, too.

David liked his friends all right, but why'd they all have to be such close talkers?!!

Tim recounts for the men his culinary high upon consumption of the world renowned Big C.

Things were later a mess at the company retreat when they discovered their new model of cycle had no spokes.

...And then Harry showed how he rode with no hands when popping a wheelie. Good times at the Schwinn Co. annual mtg.

Trig volunteers to be the first 1 percenter to forgo the company limo in favor of this thing called a bi-cycle.

Doing crack is like falling thru a crack in the ceiling, crackin' yer head on a card table and crackin' up. Don't do it!

Fiscal Cliff gives a demo of what the "average" American will go through if the dems and repubs don't dance.

America orders Fiscal Cliff to stay late and do his lines: "I will not take the country over the edge. I will not..."

Bush Sr. tries to teach Jr. that the word is "nuclear" not "nucular." Jr never gets it, but sadly masters "Bring it on!"

"Tell me the story one more time, Tom!" Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

I know you'd go out on a limb for me-like now. How about the fiscal cliff? (Sure! We can fly. Not like foolish humans.)

"Honey, I'm on the nest." You mean...? Yes. I'm sitting on the nest.

Darling, I love you. But if you sing "Freebird" one more time, you'll get no regurgitated food tonight!

He bent Gumby one time too many. Now, it was payback time!

Tor Johnson prepares to do himself in after learning he starred in what critics called "The worst movie ever made!"

You say you left your wife there on the other side? Looks like she's dancin' from here.

Oh, Gus, ain't you a gentleman! But, you go first. I insist!

That bridge to the 21st century has been rung through the ringer, hasn't it? And the journey continues...

While the West had ordered a bomb, the Japanese had ordered a bombshell. And that's how the war was won.

X-9 busted H-21, Mata Hari, and bested her in double agency. Plus, she could dance AND sing.

X-9: Another secret agent "wikileak-ed" to the Internet.

Ken didn't like where that cigarette was headed...

Didn't his mother tell him? Always shave and wear a suit and tie. You never know when the mob might interrogate you.

Don would do anything--ANYTHING--to get him some second-hand smoke.

Compromise now or it's over the fiscal cliff for you!

Little Grovie N'quist emulates his hero, but does not pass "Go" for failure to pay his taxes.

The curtain is finally drawn back on how corporate backroom deals are made.

Thanks to the release of the Watergate VIDEOtapes, we now know Nixon's game plan for breaking & entering that night.

For 30-odd years, Madge, Roz and yrs truly have been waiting to be picked for a team. This might be our last shot!

For thirty-odd years, Madge, Roz, and Dawn have been waiting to be picked for a team. This might be there last shot.

In Des Moines, the fashion police have no shortage of lineups.

Breaking,entering, vacuuming, dusting. No, not your typical dirty crime.

If by England the lust in Sir John's loins was implied, then the removal of his trousers surely fanned the flames.

Even Mrs. G was freaked out by her kids less than plebeian tastes. Why couldn't they be truants & punks like other kids?

Mrs. Gormsley regretted telling the kids to go out and get more friends.

Transgender relatives are so passe. The Gormsley kids had a transplanetary father.

This is why you shouldn't drink & smoke while levitating during a magic act (didn't your parents always tell you that?)

The madhatter's holiday tea party gets a little c-razy!

There's nothing like a tipsy magician at a holiday xmas party.

In Victorian times, one would not be so gauche as to pull one's finger; one pulled a card attached to one's finger.

In Victorian times, one would not be so gauche as to pull one's finger; one pulled a card attached to one other's finger

Greta craved to get into Tom's pants. She wondered though if those boots would fit her too.

If he told her once more to pick a card any card, good Mary wouldst be thwacking dear Carl with her fan.

The humiliation wasn't in having her two fathers listen in on her calls, it was having to use a DIAL phone!

With the cost of itunes and other media, group hearings were arranged with complete strangers. Awkward!

The government finally removes all pretense of illegal wire-tappings.

Little kids like this one, who didn't share their popcorn, kept clowns like this one crying all the time.

During the off season, Santa liked to play king with his elves.

L'il Mike issued his own declaration later that day, proclaiming the king to be an ass.

There may be a fire over England, but standing here listening to you read is giving me heartburn.

"Love your ruff!" Yours too. "Hot beard!" Back at ya! "Killer 'stache!" Same! And so, narcissist found true love.

Gulliver started to long for the land of the Lilliputians.

Both looked at each other and thought, "If only we'd of shared those ham sandwiches."

Lia insisted she was actually thin but the camera adds 10 pds-of course she collapsed under the weight of that argument.

Though he was falling to his demise, Pete was glad he had followed mom's advice to always wear a clean pair of briefs.

Heinz was glad to see he was still a good shot.

The Golden Snitch flew right by Steve's mouth, but being a muggle, he was oblivious to it.

The Lady always dressed for the theater and the operating theater was no exception.

Lady Frankenstein takes a break from operating to send some tweets.

Lady Frankenstein creates a Steve McQueen lookalike to do her bidding. The apron completed the look.

The operation was a success and proved what most people thought: Sharon and Karl were full of crap.

Reflecting back on the birth of Pig Pen, future pal of the Peanuts gang.

Sharon and Karl gave birth to a little stinker. Literally.

I guess the economy being what it is on Earth, Santa decided to take operations to new frontiers.

I got your handle, Urg. I sooo got your handle, you little kettle. Have tea with me?

Yes, Urg! We can leave Mars and go down to Maryland to get married!

Good one, re Fox, GuyOutside Someone's Window!

The zombie contingent heads for the polls to vote yes on Plan 9.

Fun and games at the Muenster household, where every night is Halloween.

Yes, we see your lovely manicure. Yes, that is a beautiful diamond. Blah, blah, blah. Have vanity?

The zombie contingent heads for the polls.

This is not the bedtime fantasy Fred had in mind.

Under Romneycare, corporate lobbyists make their pitches bedside.

...and this is another reason why it's sooo important to get dosage amounts right.

Dr. Caligari consults about upgrading his cabinet to a full-size armoire.

Slash couldn't carry off the hat in his golden years (plus, he's never carried it off like Marc Bolan-T.Rex!)

"It's a lonely job. Especially during the day. And the missus hates me working evenings..."

"Look, I'm a humble guy. Just call me King."

"Maggots, decay, murder and mayhem--there's lots to offer son, but still, it's a dying business."

Coworkers pre-caffeine, lined up for that first cup of morning joe.

"You've got to...make your own kind of music, sing your own special so-o-ong. "

The annual dictators of the world conference holds arch villain tryouts.

It appears that Plan 9 involves blackmail and compromising photos of Ofr Madan and an unidentified planet.

I'm concerned that Plan 9 is in the hands of men who have unframed posters on the wall and a toy rocket ship.

Pizzas for the one percent are delivered in all-leather boxes.

Surgical accident. Thank goodness for malpractice insurance, huh?

It was a great Halloween costume and would have been better if he'd have used a fake knife.

Phil didn't let a little facial stabbing get in the way of a day's work.

Gus's kink was sweaty necks. It takes all kinds...

There was nothing confidential, Kansas City or otherwise, in the rancid odor of the man breathing down Bud's neck.

Gus liked what he saw: his reflection in the sheen of Freddie's hair.

Fred always forgot to move his feet out of the way when taking pictures of the flowers.

Kurt's autoerotic toe obsession made it really difficult to walk.

Rep. Wiener's twitter photo postings started out innocently enough, until the camera started gravitating upwards.

Gun/bayonet sellers and users sure make a killing. Or two, or three, or a million, or more.

Sally was forbidden to join the International Bayonet League on two counts: 1. She was a girl and 2. She owned no hat.

"Fewer horses and bayonets?" Thems fightin' words to the International League of Bayonet owners.

Ann did her best to ignore the leering old guy, but it was getting increasingly difficult.

Sir Fred's beard doubled as his ruff.

The king enjoys a sneak peek at that evening's forepla...uh, play.

Everytime she hopped on that bike, the words "I'll get you and your little dog, too!!!" popped into Joe's mind.

When Tom told Bev he was going to take her for a ride, she had higher hopes.

Filbert cheerfully sends Maeve on her way. And then changes the locks.

I hold it here for twenty minutes at a time. Adds muscle to my stiff upper lip.

Maybe if I don't look up and keep puffing he'll go away.

James, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but you know what Freud said about pipes, don't you?

Hey! At this company, if we pool our salary together, we'll earn what a man here makes!

"Let the mountain come to Mohammed? Fine. But he can get his own damn slippers!"

I really value these coffee breaks out of the binder, you know?

While Smert held the decoy, Bruz prepared to stick it to the man.

Velcro would soon put these little guys out of business, but then the frisbee trade would take off.

Lee Sung attacks Hu Xin for wearing clothing Made in America.

Chinese currency manipulators take it to the streets.

Tryouts for Jerry Lee Springer--Hong Kong edition.

The new girl sported inordinate amount of knuckle hair and chin shadow. Was Dr. Lupin playing favorites?

Gail was enrapt by the werewolf's teachings, but the girls upfront thought that, as a teacher, he really bites.

Doris had no choice but to pay attention, what with her head suspended mid-air between her classmates.

Calvin Klein's Fruit of the LOON never quite took off.

As boss of her office, Mary liked a little cheesecake during the day.

Casual Fridays soon gave way to No-clothes Mondays.

Tina wore her 80s 'do with defiance, never mind that it caused paralysis to whoever caught a glimpse of it.

Even in outer space, Meg could not escape the "What Not To Wear" crew and that obnoxious Stacy London.

Take him, back, please, I beg of you! Keep the alimony and I'll add to it. Just get this oaf off my hands!!!

Apparently, we're at the wrong race site. Olympics is down the road. We've won the pedolympics.

Apparently, we "won" the right to fight lions at the Coliseum. At the count of three...RUN!

I know. We have to d

What do you mean pulling out his heart disqualifies me?!

The leprechaun had a five-leaf clover and the clown never had a bulbous nose. They were a mismatch made in heaven.

The leprechaun had a five leaf clover and the clown never had a pointy nose. They were a mismatch made in heaven.

Giggles reveals that a lifetime of being the sad clown has taken its toll.

A grizzled Bozo reflects on his earlier, studlier days.

The nog was almost ready. Once the shipment of vodka came in, cocktail hour would begin.

With a mob of kids clamoring at their door, scientists at Crayola worked furiously to perfect the new mustard yellow.

We've got at least four clones of Big Bird in the cooker, just in case.......

"There are known knowns...there are known unknowns..." Years on the meaning of his speech is still unknown.

Major Pita shows that this is his handle but never gets to his spout as bombers cut him short.

The colonel liked to stop mid-war to croon along with the boom box. Later this was used as a torture tactic w/the enemy.

Come five o' clock, while the rest of the blokes had a shadow, Moe had a five o' clock light.

Bob couldn't help but think how smug Phil looked, having gotten the last bag o'chips with the "Big Combo."

Mary listened closely, then decided she wanted to be a "Holla'back" girl!

Mary always kept her earhorn plugged up. This way she was able to keep up good relations with her neighbors.

Crazy Mary's "earhorn" sprayed super glue, effectively keeping her neighbor in a permanent silent scream.

Darling, I'm all for the British stiff upper lip but I daresay your knickers are on fire. I do grant you leave to scream

Typo: Fire SALE Over England. Keep the horses saddled. And bring your purse!

Lastly, m'dear, by the time it takes us both to disrobe I fear the mood will have passed. So, keep the clothes on, 'kay?

The count always appeared stiff when he wore his one-armed shawl.

Sir Roland stood there all night, but no one would "high-five" him.

The "Fancy Dress Party (FDP)" was a fun--if monarchical--idea, but it never took off in party politics.

"X-9, one thing's for sure: You got guts. And lots of 'em."

"X-9 and me and tea kettle make three." The bliss of undercover tea drinkers.

"X-9, not only are you a lousy agent, you're a lousy plummer. I'm leaving you. For X-10. He's younger & drinks coffee."

Lena's hair, esp. that pouf on the top, required industrial-level blow-drying.

Oh, how Lena wished she could reverse the filing of her fingertips into fork tines.

"The second belt is a backup, 'case I bust a gut laughin"

"Thanks, Gus. They call it 'botox.' I've ordered two dozen treatments for you."

Count D saw promise in Vera's vampiric skills but noted her bite stance was a bit wide.

We interrupt this report on cybersecurity threats to bring you news of the reunion of Pattinson & Stewart.

Thomas's "get out the vote" campaign was aggressive by most standards.

Kate always got a kick out of her husband's handgun antics, but not so much the guests.

When told "Cecil is a big hit man" at parties, Peter misassumed a comma after "hit."

Ken gave his all to blow out the candle. He was big for a one-year-old...(not to mention hairy)...

Something sparkly AND edible was the way to Doug's heart.

"No right to choose, no equal pay, no equal rep., no vote, no ed." 2012 women many places in the world today. No joke.

"Life. Scares. the. Hell. Out. of. Me."

"I find myself whistling and every now and then admiring the posies. HELP ME, DOC!"

"So, yeah, obviously the death thing is not an issue, but, Doc, there's those damn taxes....!"

When the lilliputians saw this cartoon parody of themselves, they did NOT riot or demonstrate. They sued.

The fellas made do with no teeth by miming their communications.

Oh the tangled webs we weave, thought Char.

Lou hoped that after the plan went down he'd be able to afford a briefcase and better lighting.

Tommy read the riot act to the boys for their cas. attire. Racketeering has its standards.

She wasn't in the best of shape & had a rather big head, but Ken's gut told him it was love. Later his gut had an ulcer.

Harry needed a fix of fast food; getting dressed be damned!

Harry wondered how long he could keep that cool cig-dangling pose without setting Mary's arm on fire.

Kate always kept the shoulder towel at the ready, in case it was time to throw it in.

The more often the masses saw nude pics of Prince Harry, Duchess Kate and anti-journo Putin, the more they layered up.

Newly unearthed 50s film: Attack of the Ruthless Air Conditioner. See it and be chilled.

Get over it! It was this or a wimple. At least this catches crumbs.

Meg was horrified to see how she looked. Wearing the collar was not just uncomfortable; it was RUFF.

With Huey you didn't just get the finger--you were given the bird...ba dum bum.

Emily Dickinson: "Hope is the thing with feathers..." You got that right, sister!

Whoo-Hoo! Chicken has been declared unkosher, non-halal, and just yucky! Viva los vegetarianos!

Cindy and Hans prepare for travel with Mitt. Roof rack here we come!

When Ann agreed to be tied up, she had something else in mind.

"Amusement" park rides? These two are not amused.

Got sunlight? For Chrissakes, open a shade or something in here!

You served as a juror in a case where a cow was on trial? And he was Curdish? Are you trying to make a monkey out of me?

Mr. Holstein, your point is MOOOOOOt.

Following this gig on Law and Order, Elmer's next gig was Jersey Cow Shores.

He did say "Don't have a cow, man," but you know, things happen, and before I knew it, little Elsie was born.

Hocus Pocus Mittanocus... Clint's GOP performance turns out to be the BAIN of his existence.

Clint conjures the GOP platform: A rabbit, a hat and more trickery(just don't look behind the red curtain....)

I've now got Romney sitting here, and with sleight of hand he...You want me to what? I can't do that to myself!

"You lookin' at me? You lookin' at ME??!!!" At the tone, the time will be....

Fresh off a victory proving Kris Kringle IS Santa Claus, Fred readies for the airwaves to give props to the Easter Bunny

"You're hysterical! I've never laughed so hard! It's great fun hanging out with you" (Please! Someone pay my bail NOW!)

Some days you just feel colorless & blah, but then a giant burger blocks your path & the day gets a l'il more inerestin'

And so, the war was not won with land mines or bombs, but slovenly soldiers and a glut of free fatty burgers.

So, when the kids ask why they got no presents this year, let them know Santa was moonlighting as a colonizer on Mars.

Paris Fashion Week 2025 debuts the new line of global warming, nuclear radiation, noise pollution, GPS wear.

"I'm a little teapot short and stout..."

If Butter heard "Quit clownin' around" one more time, he'd...cry. Damn, he hated being the sad clown!

I just can't see voting for these clowns, can you?

Lance and Ken never let anything as trifling as a surgery get in the way of the cocktail hour.

Dr. Burns, I appreciate your interest in the culinary arts, but can we finish the surgery first?

You're right, the patient may like fresh juice after surgery....NOT!

Go ahead, Guy outside your window, Make. His. Day!!!

Rich psyched himself up for writing mysteries by using the method technique.

John's penalty was listening to political speechs and smacks with the latest issue of American Spectator. Beyond cruel.

Billy could never bring himself to kill outright, but he always made sure to aim his secondhand smoke at Benny.

While the boys plot the next heist, Natty Nat wonders if his mom packed his fave PB&J for his lunch........

You knew Ned meant business when he wagged his spectacles at you.

No, everything in NOT OK at the OK Corral, OK?!!

Swagger, boast and lie. (Talking points for another political convention!)

Even the inanimate objects cowered at Dr. C's attentions.

Dr. C never really made it as a stand up comic, what with the maudlin props and deadpan humor.

Dr. C proves that his wife is actually one dimensional and pouty. Dr. C is himself proof that any wife of his would be.

When a recipe calls for flour, make sure you don't get flower! This PSA brought to you by Spelling Matters!

No amount of flower worship was gonna get rid of the stench of garlic and fish but Franz gave it his best shot.

Petal hands, pink nose and lavender eyes and flowers for friends. They didn't call him Chris Anthemum for nothing.

It was clear the lobotomy had taken effect, as the men chanted "Less taxes for the wealthy" and "More war!"

The men walk, as if to the gallows, to be interrogated as to "Who left those damn socks on the floor?"

The men braced themselves for their least favorite dinner: A plate of nothing!

Captain, it's been fun hanging out, but, uh, whose steering the ship?

Uh, officer, can I flip the page now? You done lookin' at Brit Prince Harry's "crown jewels"?!!!

Don't you just hate it when you are reaching for your wallet and your aim is off?

Werewolf in a Girls Dorm, or feral man raised by chimps? You decide.

Despite their height differences, Sir Henry and Lady Mohawk cut quite a rug on the dance floor.

The fellas did everything together. So when they only had $ for one hair transplant-they split the procedure three ways.

These guys had tried out for The Lollipop Guild, but lost out to the trio who actually had tongues for singing!

"Private, I told you--if you must carry a boom box, I want to only hear rap!

The Foot Assasin: Known far and wide for his dumb stare and his poor aim. Tootsies beware!

Kurt was shocked to see the last beer being pilfered by his mother!

Like Narcissus, Da Big Lug (his power was blinding stupidity)was mesmerized by his own image--but not in a good way.

Miss Susie: Thanks! Nice of you. And seriously same back at you and Dawnling!

Now that they read it, each guy had to send 10 copies to their best friends. Paper chain letters are the worst!

John stalled as long as he could. He couldn't read. Little did he know, neither could the other guys.

Dear John: While you've been on safari I joined a feminist cult. Diiner in the fridge. Peace out! Yrs fornever, Sal.

They call this contraption "The Wife's Revenge." Order yours today!

Payback time for the rancher in an alternative universe. The horses, pigs and sheep made sure to let him out for grazing

All you 99 percenters out here (I'll be a-countin' my tax savin's inside).

No one could read what the king wrote. It was, you know, all chicken scratch.

The plume, the golden hue. Little Huey thought only one thing: "Mom?!!?

The king took all his advice from Bert, the chicken. From this sad episode, "chicken-brained" was added to our lexicon.

In the wild west, Earl's best defense was his cologne, Eau de Pew!

Floyd was sure glad to see Shirley, but soon realized she was no great fan of the chin chuck.

Dr. C really was one singular sensation, but he bombed at his tryout for A Chorus Line.

The big hat, the long stick. Dr. C had some Freudian issues to work out.

Fritz und Ernst: Representing gallows humor at its wurst. They'll leave you in stitches!

The spirits made him all warm and toasty. Downright HOT. And a shell of the man he once was. Literally.

"Fickle friends. Turn my back for one sec. and the friendships start to flag...."

En Francaise: Canada: "It's rosacea. Yours?" France: "A birth mark." America was not getting in that conversation.

Some said the French were all wet. America would soon prove this point.

"You had me at 'Yes, sir.'"

Frank and Slov get ready to make another crank call. This was their idea of being on the front line.

Theirs was a black and blue world, in more ways than one.

Willard and his henchman spot another boy with long hair. Bullying was messy business. Thank goodness for the suit & tie

New brush...mouthwash...deodorant...detangler...breath mints...victims.. It was expensive keeping a werewolf in a dorm.

The "laundering" gig in prison surprised Carol by being surprisingly soap-free.

Professor Brent was looking for a DVD called "Back to the Future," but it hadn't been invented yet.

Marion thought Harvey's hands were going for her waste, but actually he had held open one book too many.

"We are three wild and craaazy guys!!!" (Yet another dateless night ensued for Harvey, Marty and Lou.

Moiy:Phhft, you're gettin' on my noives! Phhft: I'm da victim of coicumstance! Every planet had its Stooges.

Being green, nude and in a gambling casino with a big lug topped Gina's list of Worst Date Ever!!!!

Being green, nude and in a gambling with a big lug casino topped Gina's list of Worst Date Ever!!!

Molly worried what her friends would think about her dating a wild cuke, but she'd look back fondly on her salad days.

The Pickles dreamed of the day they'd be represented amongst the cherries & lemons. In the meantime, they remained sour.

Betty and Jean gazed out the window dreaming of more normal, useful husbands, who maybe mowed the lawn or...something.

Earl's gloved hand sparked many fashion trends, but back in the day, he and the professor were fashionn outcasts.

Dr. Bell, in his later years, had a cord but mistook his hand for the phone. Needless to say, he didn't get many calls.

You'd cry, too, if you mixed up your calendar dates for fancy-dress party with military raid.

In 1807 the first fashion police of record arrested and charged the Queen of Prussia with astounding bad taste.

You knew Lady Pystof was angry by the way she'd blow her top.

All those who buy a bottle get to pull Juan's pinky. Interestingly, there were no takers.

Being a snake-oil salesperson was hard enough and even harder for GianCarla on cross-dressing days.

After giving a police escort to C. Sheen, Whalen gets down to the business of the day: making deals with his bookie.

A big whitehead? Half an unshaved face? Glob of toothpaste? Al loved playing charades with the handymen.

Ken's smoke rings tended to glom onto his face, causing emergency dermatological visits.

Peg's first action upon landing was forming an anti-Max union with the other strip characters. This was the last "draw."

Joan would be damned if she'd be late to work one more day this week. For her, Flight 13 could only be good luck.

Once Lois married Superman she was quickly brought into the family business.

Trish was a "man-magnet." Literally.

"Did ya hear the one about...?!" As a roving stand-up comic, Leo got his audiences where he could find 'em.

Len, ever the optimist, continues into the night his quest to get someone to pull his finger.

Thad von Griz, known as the "birdman" for his various eccentricities, waits to be fed by his underling.

Scrooge upbraids Cratchit with lustful abandon. After years of being nice, he thought to himself, "I'm Back, Babeeee!"

Reg tries to convince Dr. C to use the cabinet for FILING. Dr. C, meanwhile, contemplates a cabinet just for Reg.

Claude held the coin as a counterbalance to the weight of his not-so-happening "stache.

At Chez Ripauxff, the price of a meal is literally a steal.

Forty years on, Harry is still showing off the golden snitch.

You think you have it hard? Try being a brush. With a face! Painting an orange wall (you know I'll be here all day!)

People used to say they could never get a handle on me. I always brushed it aside--but now look at me!

Yeah, I could've gone with white or eggshell but I've always been cutting edge as the first, true punk brush.

Bruce reads his palm and sees a dark, dark future. He then realizes the powers been out for hours.

In the barracks, late at night, Kip entertained the fellas by hand jiving. He was so good he had to give himself a hand.

Gil shows off his fin hand to Don. Later that night Don fancies a meal at Red Lobster.

This creepy fella is just asking to be spanked! (Blue humor?)

The blue hand of justice closes in on the greedy banker.

Frankenstein's monster, blue with cold, chases that funny guy from Monopoly.

"You are so it!" But the ref. disagrees. Adult tag can get ugly.

In poorer regions of the nation they shot at each other with hand guns--literally "hand" guns.

Lindsey is shocked to find a Tree Man growing on her property--and in full leaf!

The flies appreciated the milk industry branching out to post missing flies on their cartons.

"Man, I told her and I told her--it's a 'no-fly zone!'"

Fly guy: "Flies in the buttermilk, shoo fly shoo..." Carton Fly: "Would you shut the @!! $%!** up?"

Kurt never really made it as a secret agent. The flashy ties and his constant need for a light were dead giveaways.

Not Phil's tie, dangling cig, or tilted hat impressed a single soul at the white hat ball.

At the spring hat convention Kent wondered at the gall of this fella coming sans tie and looking like J. Sandusky.

At the spring hat convention Kent wondered at the gall of this fella coming sans tie and looking like J. Sandusky.

Ernst admires Bette Davis's eyes and her Napoleanic stance, also referred to as her blue period.

I have the same expression after my "Smart" phone changes the words I type!

"Oh, dahling, you look just like. a little Napoleon standing there like that!" (And doll, 'Scouse that previous yahoo)

"Oh, sabling you look just like a little Napoleon standing there like that!"

The Supreme Court affirmed in "Citizens United" that the corporation is a person. Here he is. Take a gooood look!

Public Health Alert: When you see the green slime, it's time to clean your fridge.

Wall Street greed gets a close up look at itself. Results not pretty.

It really isn't easy being green. Just ask this guy.

Once she'd glanced upon this tableaux Lady Frankenstein pledged herself to a life of celibacy.

What with Philps not having a glass of his own Fargh did a Zen toast and drank up.

The guys dressed in their most natty duds during spring break but all they seemed to attract was each other.

Disney touring group in Wahhabi-observant country.

When things got dull in the forest, four of the seven dwarfs went on the dinner theater circuit.

The Whig sisters were first in line for a chest & nose reduction. Soon they'd learn of the little boy standing btw them.

While same sex marriage slowly gains traction in the U.S., same sex, same dress marriage is already a big hit in Japan.

Lee pulls out a name for his Secret Santa. No matter that Ng is his only colleague & doesn't know who Santa is.

"A 'bucket hand'? You numskull, Tommy-san!" Tommy and Jo were the Laurel & Hardy of Japan.

"A 'bucket hand'? You numskull, Tommy-san!" Tommy & Jo were the Lauren and Hardy of Japan!

Jim listened intently as Biff shared the latest on TomKat. It didn't take a rocket scientologist to see K is now free!

"You want fries with that? FRIES with that?!" The heat was really getting to Tom.

Don't worry about fighting me with your fists--you're killing me with your breath!

Not only did Kent have a bad cramp in his neck but some evil force was turning his face into a flat, white square!

It was really hard to stay incognito at the fireworks display when you're the only one in suit, tie and hat w/spotlight.

When Tom Cruise was happy he jumped on couches; when not so happy, the stakes and jumping apparati were much higher.

This is what happens from too much "Mountain Pose," Dude.

A girls dorm, but it's Summer Break, this egghead is here, & it's 10 hrs to midnight. Smitty couldn't catch a break.

So, you say a coupla puffs and I'll have a head of hair like yours? And you'll throw in the glum face for good measure?

Little Fidget tries in vain to keep the hand from hanging itself.

"*Sniff*, too buch colode od, Gulliber. Ad stop gibin' me a wedgie!"

"I rang the bell! THIS is MY STOP!"

Brad looked lustily at Joe's topper. Not for nothin' was he the towns top milliner.

Bob was a nice guy but he never mastered the art of facing the person he was speaking with.

Young Eddie Van H. listens to young D. Lee Roth belt it out back in the day. Visions of the drugs & the road followed.

Herr Naste tries to call in for digestive aids for his increasing bile, but realizes he doesn't have the guts.

Herr Brane announces a shortage of sanity among the ranks, while Herr Arsol watches his humanity bolt for the door.

Len's vision of himself in thirty years always shadowed him. Each time, the tie got a little shorter.

Len's vision of himself in thirty years always shadowed him. Each time, the tie got a little shorter.

Now that Tommy learned to shave properly his Dad prepared to show him how to tie his shoes.

Since she started shaving, Lou could no longer deny that his wife Lucy just was not the woman he married.

"Me? I'll tell ya what I'd like to be doing now. I'd like to be watching Terry Pratchett's 'Going Postal' again."

After sitting like this in take after take for 12 hours, Arthur reconsidered membership in the SAG.

Kirk often feigned interest with a far-away look in his eyes. He eventually added a spotlight for greater effect.

"I'll have eggs! Over easy!" With Burt, everything was an exercise in intensity. In intensity!

Twenty-five cents to park??!! What next? Dollar a gallon gasoline?

It wasn't easy balancing a car with wheels on only one side, but Crazy Lou made a go of it.

In the old days before Citizens United & the Supreems made corps into persons, major $$ for pols was given on the sly.

The old days before Citizens United and the Supremes made corps into persons, major $$ for pols was given on the sly.

When Mary refused to wear the white hat, things got ugly.

"Say 'Aunt,' Say AUNT!'" Kate was not only a bully, but a feminist as well."

Here, honey. Have a dose of Romneycare!

Sheena feared Ray would do to his nose what he did to her mouth. And that would be one breezeway too many.

Being married to a lavender man was bad enough to Velma, but Ray's constant nasal rinses were too much!

When his wife told him to go screw himself, Kurt decided he'd give himself the finger instead.

"Sir, there is a very poor shadow puppet inside your spleen. You can vent it or remove it."

Times being tough, little dodger enrolled in school and took to coppin' the lunch money off his fellow classmates.

Student court was now in session and soon there would be a verdict as to just who stole that cookie from the cookie jar.

Redux: While little Billy chatted up little Ruthie, little Liberace dreamed of sequined suits and his mom.

While little Billy chatted up little Ruthie, little Tommy Liberace dreamed of sequined suits and his mom.

"Watson, I can't even READ this. Elementary ENGLISH is what you require, ole chap. Start with those books behind me."

"It's my trigger hand, Doc. -Bang! Bang!; See? Payment Still due!"

Mary was blown away. The quality of zombies had clearly declined with the economy.

"Now you don't even have to SAY 'Beetlejuice!' Ya just gotta think it!"

"Yes, it's true what they say. My face is now frozen like this. Get used to it, doll."

"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth! Get used to this new grin. I got my teeth capped!"

"Fellow Americans, we have been invaded by small bulbous creatures with stick bodies. Here is one before me right now!"

"This report just in..." (I wonder if this tie makes me look fat, mmm I have a taste for spaghetti, what time is it...)

"My secret? Collagen injections...and daily consumption of beef and fries!"

It wasn't enough for Mr. Bau to wear tall hats: He had to measure the height of every unsuspecting passerby.

It was hard enough to sleep upright but it was a true bummer to be awoken by a poker.

Mr. Sapier had his eccentric ways, but hands down, when you needed alterations, he was the best tailor in town!

"Thirty minutes for a lunch break? And no 401K?!!!"

"Good man, it says right here in plain English--The name's Superfly.... Superfly Parker-Davies."

Hugh Laurie's great grandfather honed his acting chops as a roving, cape-wearing acteur.

One of the earliest customers of T-Mob/Verizon/Sprint who is kept, as Blondie sang, "Waiting on the tele-pho-oone!"

"I say good chap, look here, would you be so kind as to..." Had Dr. Lam just yelled "Help" he'd be alive today.

Old habits were hard to break. Sir Reg broke from safari daily to call a local asking for Prince Albert in a can.

Sven Bjurg was not a bad teacher, but had never properly learned how to use the pointer.

Harry wished his teacher would use his wand to bring himself into the 21st century.

Little Stella shows her father a catalogue of adult men's clothing hoping he will finally get the hint.

The Smits were the only family in the neighborhood to splurge for a human antenna.

Little Tommy had dreamed of meeting a superhero. Naturally he was disappointed when the one he met was tea kettle man.

There was nothing more fear-inducing and horrifying to Phil & Dana as a patron without a proper tie!

Molly and Phil thought they'd love to visit the Amazon some day. Somehow this isn't what they had in mind.

When Bob and Lola took the dance floor, they really shook things up. Literally, thought Lois.

"This? I ain't worried. The guy has to play at least four quarters to win anything, and even then, it's just a trinket.

"This roboclaw Mom hired never lets me stay out late and play!"

Latest fascinator. Plan to wear it at Harry's wedding--whenever that will be!

Hrugga Hrug instantly regretted taking a hit from that SPLIFF. Now he was seeing freaky white humanoids!

Hrugga Hrug instantly regretted taking a hit from that sliff. Now he was seeing freaky white humanoids!

"Yes, you are a little underdressed, but don't worry. Once the tribal sacrifice begins, no one will notice."

Kent was a nice enough fellow, always holding his pipe out for a snort of second-hand smoke.

"I, myself, prefer French-cut cotton briefs. They have the best selection at Grace Dept. Store. Tell them Joe sent you."

The neanderthal was confused why his plan to lock himself up in jail to keep the criminals out felt so restraining.

Putin is finally arrested for corruption.

The Neanderthal sheriff's get rid o' crime plan didn't work: Reason number 201 why he never made it to homo sapien.

Val turned away in disgust after spying Sal's topper. Lie, cheat, steal but don't break the sartorial code of the mob.

Before going out on a job, "Nails" McGee's boys always had a manicure.

"Pop-pies! Poppies for dinner. Sleeep, sleeep."

"Pop-pies! Poppies for dinner. Sleeep, sleeep."

Somehow bringing the pot of slow-cooked live crustaceans to the table ruined crab night for the Smith family.

Papa's cooking was so inedible the family had to take a sleep sedative before sitting down for the evening meal.

People wondered why the Stiphneks had worn ruffs for centuries. Reckless Hesa's latest antic showed why.

The breath of death had struck. Halitosia once again succeeded in eliminating another of his daughter's suitors.

"First it's cannibalism, then human bracelets. Enough, father, enough!"

"I'm all for the melting pot concept, but within limits!

"I know. We should let the turnip go first, with that dumb grin. BTW, you Stink!"

I thought the dish ran away with the spoon? Leave it to him to mix us up in his personal mess.

Helen went on raptly, never minding for a moment that Jean-Luc, Sylvie, and Pierre didn't understand a word of English.

Being plain had its bennies, like getting paid to play the wistful sidekick to the star beauty in B-flick movies.

Madge waits as Buck readies to elbow Eve, earning every cent of a $5 payoff. Soon, the dishy Parisian would be hers.

Benetton ads were getting more unbelievable, but even the models were frozen from sticker shock!

Ralph made his living on frozen, optimistic hitchhikers and their beckoning wallets.

While Gil & Mary pose for a self-photo "Into the Wild," Vic spies a helicopter and plans his escape!

It was hard to keep a straight face when Earl was in the room ever since he sold his belt collection.

Bud flashes his new, slim waistline to Lou, who looks on in envy. Down the road Mrs. E. searches for her missing corset.

"Ich can ze Russia from here!" gloated Fritz. Ulrich only saw red.

With only German cuisine left to consume, Herr Brane sought the source of the rotten smell. He feared the wurst...

Sometimes, it really was no fun being a lilliputian....

When Bozo played the interplanetary circuit, he made the sun crack up. Literally.

The guys show off the new replacement for smartphones and iPADS--the Big Head. Now you really can be alone in a crowd!

Contain Corporate Bloat with The Big Head. Cost: 5M taxpayer money. Ego not included. Caveat shareholder.

Fashion Week Mars-style.

Things were tough out on the range,but the fellas always had time for a ouija board readin'.

Before Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys there was Arizona Ash & his Caravan Crew.

The last lost tribe of Israel FINALLY come across someone with a map!

Both looked uncomfortably away as each had the same thought: What's he/she hiding under there?

How dare you, Ms. Jones!!! My name is NOT, I repeat, NOT Cosmo Kramer!

A werewolf in our girls dormitory!?! Ms. Jones, not only are no animals allowed, but we will not abide unisex quarters!

"And then Chris got all--'whatever!'-..." Joe and Rod always used time outs to catch up on the latest gossip.

"Funiculi,Funicu-lahhh" hummed Don. It was then that Greg realized the team hired the wrong kind of coach.

With bib firmly in place, the cowboy awaited his sunrise feast.

Rod was not a demonstrative man, and knew even blue blobs need love, but this was ridiculous!

Take two: Elrod heard that hte local farmhand was sad and this confirmed it: He really was blue.

Elrod heard that the local farmhand was sad and this confirmed it: He WAS really blue. farmhand was

Lance leaned in closer to inhale. In these hard economic times he always got his smoke second hand.

"Mmrell yo ze wharz ah ajau!" said Val. Clive always agreed when Val let his pipe do the talking.

"First it's straws, then a sippy cup, now this. Really, good man you should make an appt. with me soon," said Dr. Freud.

Joe attempted some levity by yelling "Beam me up, Gotti!" but the Ragu gang was having none of it.

Under the threat of an uneven tan and a shrinking torso, Kurt told the guys what they wanted.

Fred kept the beam trained on Tim so as not to wake the kids. He just worried about breaking their kiddie seat.

Borg's inability to paint with any sophistication was the real big elephant in the room, uh, cave.

Ella didn't mind being painted, but it was disconcerting to see the artist wearing her neighbor.

Painting wild animals wasn't a bad gig, except when Gurg said anything about a...CHARGE!

Mary surprises Hoerst with a visit from her tailor. Soon he will be in crinoline and lace.

At Yodelfest Kurt and Beate kill with their high notes. Literally.

Robin Hood readies to jump upon finding Maid Marion at her wurst.

In his spare time, J. Edgar Hoover liked to take his toy car for a spin and bring pal Clyde along for the play dates.

Pete sat docily one seat ahead as his wife, Mad Martha, drove him to an early grave.

As part-crustacean, Rock never let the claw impede his biz dealings. Later on he was a great inspiration to the B-52s.

Jeeves entertained thoughts of whacking Bertie with the 'brella, but payday was Friday so he thought better of it.

Before the Hound of the B & other claims to fame, there was the lesser known unheralded Case of the Unopened Umbrella.

20 yrs later, eagles have replaced monkeys & Doro & the Wiz realize sometimes you can't go home again. Or to Oz.

Mary didn't mind the eagle sentries' threats--no way was she going to give up her Mickey Mouse ears!

"Snow White" aka Ethel Bant, is found by her father and ordered to come home and get a real job.

The kids come home early from their play date to find Mom and Dad have their own. Awk-ward!

Fay and Tom find out that "Camp Night at the Community Center" isn't quite they thought it would be.

Sure the sun was pissed: The moon was nowhere around, he was awake in the night sky, AND his legs were missing!

The rumors were true: The sun really does have a hot temper and life for circus animals is a bear.

The bears had always been Beatles fans, but "Sun, sun, sun here it comes!" wasn't what they wanted to hear right now.

What the three bears wouldn't do for Goldilocks now! (The fourth is too young to remember).

It was uncanny but the more Meg stared at her arm, the further apart her eyes grew, yet she could not stop!

Meg saw the other wives across the st. in similar cages and realized- domesticity IS a prison (& the windows WERE dirty)

Peri opens the blinds for the first time to discover three dimensional people WITHOUT webbed hands. What madness!

“Reports of young Romney’s brutish behavior and backwards thinking has CONVINCED me to vote for him!” Tom declared.

It was no use. There was no spell in the book to turn Jack's coat back to white. He was destined to be a "suit" now.

Post-POTUS George "W" commissions a team of experts to find "nucular" in the dictionary. Mission NOT accomplished.

Mary did her best to distract Gil from the killer flashlight headed his way.

Tom loved arriving to his appts early, esp. since performance art had replaced magazines in the waiting room.

When Tom told Sheena he was a complex man with many layers, she thought (incorrectly!) he was speaking figuratively.

First Clark, now this guy! Lois wondered why she couldn't just meet regular men at the Daily Planet.

The fashion police close in on the Gold Chain gang. The charge? Poor accessorizing. That was not OK at the OK Corral.

On a steady diet of bullets and true grit,Joe becomes the Biggest Loser in town. He and Biff prepare to defend the title

The trio arrives at their "Oz": Fleischer's studio, where they demand two hands and ears a piece and a nose for Jill.

Trina was happy to join the force but she remained dogged by the poodle 'do they insisted she wear.

At the annual Safari and Sailor night, Ken and Ron were woefully underdressed.

Jones agreed it was serious: There were no wild animals in this bar. That ship had sailed. What a drag!

Bill's intent was to drive his way back to the 70s. His wife shrunk in horror with every passing mile.

Being an early developer made Billy the only second-grader in town able to pass as an adult behind the wheel!

Tyrone explained that wearing white after Labor Day just Was Not Done. But, when in Rome.....

The Count tried to convince the men that this season black was the new white--and no messy blood stains!

Wallinda attempts to read Gregor's fortune, and notes the prognosis is rather opaque.

Marion really did have the whole world in her hands. She was just surprised at how small it was.

Deputy Lee could see using finger-shadow puppetry to divert the Sheriff's attention from his big goof-up wasn't working.

Sheriff Bob shows Deputy Earl his latest dance moves for "Stayin' Alive." Disco is born on the range.

Sheriff Bob shows Deputy Earl his latest dance moves for "Stayin' Alive." Disco is born on the range.

Officer Smith confirms rumors of a donut sale at the local 7-elev.

Thirty years later, Jim wondered why he and Stewie were still playing cops 'n robbers.

1950s precursor to the annoyingly loud, public cell phone user.

The Fall of Eden, Part II: Revenge of the Humans

Oh, how Mr. Wiggly wished he could worm his way out of this one!

Once again, Bruce worms his way out of eating broccoli.

The party going on in Tom's mouth was about to end...

The elderly bartendress and her son turned their backs on Rodney and just laughed and laughed; he still got no respect.

Despite his urging to "Take my forearm, please" Lenny Youngman once again meets with defeat.

With his 1000th "Take my wife, please!" plea, H. Youngman finally hits pay dirt.

With no seat belts or child car seats the McCoys secured Cowboy Bob in the back seat the best way they knew how.

With no seat belts or child car seats the Smith secured Cowboy Bob in the back seat the best way they knew how.

No amt of heel clicking "There's no place like home" got Jonah out of this whale of a mess...

Commuter yoga left Moe with an unpleasant out of body experience.

Jim demanded Bill's headgear. Bill just thought, "What the fez?!"

Z’im prepared to marry the loud, besotted plumber and his 'bot bride. Marriage equality 2050 bytes.

Once the non-Human Capital recruits from Planet X came aboard, casual Friday was never the same. Viva wkplace diversity!